It was quiet. So very, very quiet. Such tranquillity and peace has become rare in todays world. Only during the hours close to dawn does the world seem to cease it's endless pursuit of chaotic activity. I value this rare time. It lets me clear my mind and I do my best work with a clear mind.
Yes, I was getting ready to work. No, not begging, although that is my job. No. In the tranquil hours of near-morning, I wash my hands and start work on my masterpiece.
I opened the closet and tripped a wire to open a hidden compartment inside. Its not like I couldve just let my precious work lying out in the open, now could I?
Hauling the pattern out is a tiresome task. Rolled up, its width is thick enough to reach my waist, and I am not short. Lengthwise, its long enough to cover twice the size of the basement Im working in.
I unroll part of it, spreading its length on the basement floor already cleaned, of course. Then, I bring out my material and arrange them in piles on the floor in one straight line to my left: hair, followed by skin, then muscle, then organs, then the odds and ends. The bones are arranged on my right. This makes for easy access.
Rolling up my sleeves, I begin by knotting three strands of hair about half a finger thick, each to the material in the centre of the design. This varies and I change my style of knotting accordingly. Ive actually used up to two hundred and eighty nine different types of knots in my design to date.
Then, I start weaving the skin and muscle into the design. The skin requires very specific techniques, since I leave the basic structure of it as it is and only the carefully cut edges are used for the weave. The muscle, however, isnt much different than the hair. Theyre both thin fibres and are quite easy to weave.
The organs and the odds and ends are added in as accents wherever I feel the need to.
I leave simple loops for the bones. Ive had enough practice with the loops to know exactly which type and size of loop to make for which bone. Its quite easy, really, once you memorise the basic structures. Only the lengths seem to change much and that is no problem for a master like me.
When all the basic raw materials are used, I start to loop in the bones. Each goes in the same way: one side inserted from the top while the other inserted from below. This creates a certain balance and doesnt let the bone slip through or fall out. Sometimes, I use a pair of small tweezers to work out some small kinks or imperfections I see while inserting the bones. I am very thorough with my work.
Every time I finish with a good days work, I stand back and look at the pattern one more time, taking in the whole thing. How the beauty of the human body is incorporated into my design never ceases to amaze me. I stand there, the sun shining outside, and soak in my work, my passion, my life.















Devious Comments
Comments
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"Those that didn't die trying, came out of the ordeal with stories to tell and pictures to paint. That's what makes the risk all worth it."
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Aims: to be colder than your freakin heart...
I have faced death this night, and I have called his bluff.
Let me say first of all how impressed I am with this storyline and with each of the installments so far. They are truly chilling and appear (if the various comments give any indication) to have achieved their exact intention. You possess a real mastery in shaping your character and the setting. The words used are quite simple, and this makes the piece straightforward and to the point, giving it an instruction-like manner. It is set out in the simplest terms to allow the most important thing, the story, to control the reader's attention.
I've very much enjoyed reading the three parts currently submitted.
There are a few small improvements I would suggest for this particular piece, all of which occur near the beginning. The fourth sentence looks like it could use editing. "Only during the hours so close to dawn - doesn't quite fit. Perhaps all you need to do is lose the 'so', maybe change it to 'the hours closest to dawn'. I think that would fit better - "does the world seem to quieten" - quieten is a very awkward word (in fact, I'm not sure it is one by proper standards), so I'd suggest changing it, perhaps to 'does the world become silent'.
I do really like the phrase "the tranquil hours of near-morning". Beautiful imagery. I was also unsure whether the 'width' of the pattern needed to be 'height' instead, but on rereading find the original to be best.
I actually couldn't find any other errors or places for improvement in this piece; it's truly well crafted. Although the content is obviously not for everyone, the clear sense of the text is likely to attract many readers. I am in fact interested in speaking to you about where this story is headed. Is it intended to be a long story (the size of a novella for example) or is it likely to be not much longer? Or is it already completed? I imagine from the way it has been written so far that you've just been adding to when inspiration (or boredom = P) strikes. I would however be interested in perhaps publishing this story, were it of short-story length (a couple of thousand words), with a clear resolution. Anyway, please tell me of your plans for it; I am very interested and intrigued.
Thankyou for sharing your creative talents with us all,
Jeremy
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98% of Deviants don't know the difference between "your" and "you're." If you're one of the 2% that wants to punch 'em, put this in your sig.
Thanks for all the praise. It's much appreciated (so is the critique, since I like knowing how to improve).
This story started off as a random idea that I doodled when working on a novel that's still in it's early stages. I liked it and decided to post it just to see what people thought and i happen to write a new installment whenever it comes to me. This probably going to be a series of short stories. It is not completed, since I like working on Harnaan and will probably keep him around for a few more installments. You can publish it, or part of it, if you think it's worth it. The next few installments will be more about the progress of the pattern and how Harnaan decides to unveil it to the world.
I'm glad you liked my little experiment-child.
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Aims: to be colder than your freakin heart...
I have faced death this night, and I have called his bluff.
And yeah, that's about how I thought it was 'conceived'. I wonder then how long you think the next number of installments are likely to take? I'd love to be able to publish a full, complete 'story' (of say 4000-5000 words) in the first issue of my magazine (which is likely to be fully produced in the next two months), which would mean speeding the process along a tad. Tell me what you think anyway.
The next bit of the story sounds good. I look forward to it.
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98% of Deviants don't know the difference between "your" and "you're." If you're one of the 2% that wants to punch 'em, put this in your sig.
BTW, what's your magazine like? I'm interested.
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98% of Deviants don't know the difference between "your" and "you're." If you're one of the 2% that wants to punch 'em, put this in your sig.
Two more installments sound great. I'll keep an eye out, but just in case, would you like to note me with your process? I look forward to seeing them
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98% of Deviants don't know the difference between "your" and "you're." If you're one of the 2% that wants to punch 'em, put this in your sig.
And I'd need to get an OK from my parents (since foreign exchange is their department), but I would like a copy.
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98% of Deviants don't know the difference between "your" and "you're." If you're one of the 2% that wants to punch 'em, put this in your sig.
Your life will always suck more than the other person - Universal La
Lovely writing yet again
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"The ninja strikes silently and without warning! Like the cobra... like the flu!"
~Daggett
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